just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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