i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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