you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
