p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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