Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
