We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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