Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
