I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
