Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
