4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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