the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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