I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize