going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
ttyl tear gas
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
