I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
