so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
