Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
