i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
