it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
