The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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