Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
