false alarm. still invincible.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
