David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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