so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
