Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
