I am puke
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
