I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
