ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
where does the pee come out of this thing
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
