are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize