Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
