I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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