So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
