i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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