Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
