am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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