Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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