It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
