His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Enjoy the penises
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
