butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
