drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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