I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
