well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize