Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
