I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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