Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize