when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
