New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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