I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
