it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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