Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
