His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
