Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
