I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
