hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
