you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
