I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
