All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
