I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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