1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize