RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
don't judge my taste in strippers
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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