Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
