Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
