I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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