Old men and throwing up are my life now.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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