Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
